When I was younger, I was on the go all the time. Even when I wasn’t ‘going’, every moment had a plan.
The Overly Productive “Me”
Then, as my kids got older, each moment didn’t necessarily have a predetermined purpose, but I made sure each moment was used wisely. If the kids were in school, I never took the time to read a book. Instead, I would work on dinner, clean, pay bills, grocery shop, whatever. However, TV, books, etc had to wait until the evening, because productivity was a must between 8 a.m. and 3:30 p.m. (FYI, this was a rule I imposed on myself.)
The Current and Less Productive “Me”
Now that I have an eighth grader and two high-schoolers, my rules have relaxed! If I am at sitting at a soccer practice, I no longer feel compelled to rush around and run errands. Instead, I roll down the car windows (or sit outside), enjoy the breeze, and either write, read, or just enjoy having nothing to do but look around. If the weather is nice when the kids are at school, I might even go out on the patio and read a magazine for an hour. I tell you, my life is getting downright hedonistic.
Why Did My Expectations Relax?
I am not sure exactly what has given me this more relaxed attitude. Maybe it is just life’s experience that tells me that living in the moment is important for a sane mind. Perhaps I have gotten lazy. All I know is that instead of worrying about what all I could get done while waiting for one of the kid’s activities to finish, I now look forward to that down time instead. Having the opportunity to sit for 90 minutes and do whatever I want is a welcome event. No guilt, no nothing, just time to relax.
Perhaps if every other hour of my life wasn’t so busy I wouldn’t enjoy these free moments so much. I know that even a few years ago I could not sit still for more than 15 minutes at a time. Now, I have a totally different perspective, and I really appreciate the free moments that life brings me. I do think that different experiences happen which change how important we feel certain things may be, and we don’t even realize it is happening. This doesn’t just apply to how we spend our time, but also how we react to different life events. I know that for me, some situations that would have stressed me out in the past don’t even phase me at anymore. However, I couldn’t just jump to the point I am at now by just telling myself not to worry about things. I think I needed to have certain experiences to fully understand what is really important in life (to me), and what things are really just little nuisances.
I guess as I get older, I get a little glimpse into how many elderly people don’t seem to get upset over little things that drive some younger people crazy. It reminds me of when I had just given birth to my first child, completely unmedicated. When he was born and bathed, the nurse had to remove an IV and also needed to tear off some medical tape from my arm. She apologized for the pain she was going to cause and I said “you have to be kidding me- after what I just went through, ripping off a little tape and pulling out a needle is no big deal.” I figure that older people probably feel the same way and think “I got through the Depression and War, I am certainly not going to let (insert complaint here) get to me”.
My View of How Life Works
In synopsis, what I am trying to say is this: It seems like our emotions and reactions to life change over time, and we don’t even realize it is happening. I do believe that much of this change is caused by experiences we go through each day, some of which are more difficult than others. These experiences will slowly shape how we live our life each day. You can’t just go from Point A to Point Z. You have to live through all the steps in between, and one day, you just arrive at Point Z. At least, that is how it all seems to work to me.
So instead of rushing to get to where you want to be in life, take the time to enjoy and learn from each part of the process. You will get to where you want to be, it just may not happen as quickly as you want it to.